Silent tears of the poet

Thảo luận trong 'Giao lưu Ngoại Ngữ' bắt đầu bởi logean, 8/12/07.

  1. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Alright, just to inform, this thread is absolutely no place for troll, don't come in here, look at the post and then say "skip reading anything longer than 5 lines", this is not a cinema, so be smart. I have been here for quite a few times so I know how the initial content will be floated away and rubbish discussion bashes in, every poem in here is made with heart and soul, if you do it that way you're disrespecting the poet, if you don't have any respects or interest at all, this place is not for you.

    Otherwise, welcome here as a poet, there is always a poet resides in you, as I firmly believe and please remember a few notices:
    -You don't have to be the best poet ever live to make a post in here
    -You don't have to subscribe daily or weekly, you can do it monthly or whenever you feel like
    -Your form of poem could be in Vietnamese, French, English ... whatever language you like to put the emotions into words. However for Vietnamese poem, you can go to box Văn Học due to a large poetry thread is already there.
    -Rap is not poem
    -It must be your work (namely at least 99% of your work must pass a plagiarism scan, I won't scan, this is your responsibility and you're already grown up, so you know what to do), I don't want anything to do with plagiarism or copyright issues, which eventually might lead to a flame war.
    -Translation from original poem is counted as plagiarism if there's no proper references, well, this is a controversial matter as many people like to make a joke to rules and regulation but nevertheless got a bullet proof over their lame post, basically I can't do nothing but lose my respect for you, as a fellow poet.
    -No explicit language
    -This place could be a chat room between us, but try not turning this into a confession box, means don't drag your personal issues here and make us listen, go to box "tâm sự" is a better idea. I will judge the content of your post (not your poem) and see if it's appropriate to be in this place, though it doesn't mean anything hostile, just rules.
    -Content of your poem SHOULD NEVER be about our country's politic, I know poet should free his/her soul from the shackle of these things, but every place has their own rules, be nice and be with the team.
    -You might get rep for your good work, even this is not the best place to make your debut but hey, we poet care nothing of the mundane world, the way we see the world and their are entirely two different dimensions.
    -Don't be a baby when someone give comment to your work (e.g your grammar is not perfect, your flow of rhythm is kinda funky, I can't feel anything from reading your poems ...ect), if you want the reader to respect you, you have to respect them first, that means receive critics with an open arms. OR take your trash talking out of this place, otherwise I will have to ask for your post to be removed, you have been warned.
    -As well as people who comment on the poet, the same rule apply to you, be nice or be gone.
    -The content from page 1 to page 7 wasn't being applied with these following rules, this will be counted straight away from the moment this post is modified

    I will hereby list a basic tutorial of how to rhyme a poem (aka poem for dummy), i'm no great poet but I have wrote a few poem and received positive acclaim, so I'm just offering what is in my head, take it or leave it is up to you.

    So as you can see, my preferences is rhyming consecutively from verse to verse.

    If you have any difficulty with rhyming, here's the kit to help you out real quick

    Hope we all have a good time :)
    Chỉnh sửa cuối: 28/3/10
  2. Master Bate

    Master Bate Legend of Zelda

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Who's the princess in this box? '__'
    You mean pp?
    P/s: Nice poem
  3. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Today i was drunk and i decided to write everything in my mind out.And it seems to be....the longest piece i've ever written before

    that's it,no princess in reality

    if you want you can continue my piece,continue the journey of the young hawk to forgotten land

    p/s:it is not very completed,without ryhme...

    I think this is my better piece,i wrote it in one cold winter night,remember how much suffer i have to endure through 18 years,with all the words i have inside my heart.
  4. cloud952004

    cloud952004 Mayor of SimCity

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    That's a nice poem though I don't fully understand its meaning. However, I like " The truth ", don't know why but whenever I read it, I feel like someone's heart is crying in pain >.<, suffering but cannot escape from the sorrow >.>.
  5. Aceeto

    Aceeto Février GVN Veteran

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    bottom of the well
    wow. impressive, respective :'>
  6. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Thks you guys ^^

    Even though something might not very clear in the piece,i believe that would be better than you fully understand it,i want everyone think on their way.

    To be frankly,influence is come from the song "The Poet and The Pendulum" of Nightwish,Tuomas's song always great,some are painful,some are deep and unexpressed by words alone,i gonna make a piece like "Ocean Soul" a near day,if i can.

    Ocean soul

    p/s: i will feel very happy if you guys can put your effort in a poem,too,it's a very good way to study English and advence your skill in writing.My piece is tooooo longggggg >__<,normally just need a piece of 1-4 lines is enough.

    Looking forward to see you guys give me some nice poem ^^
  7. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Rapture night

    One more dark night
    Holds by chain tight
    With all her might
    She wants to die

    His smile and breath
    Drown her beneath
    Rapture and pain
    Bonding by chain

    “These forlorn pieces of my heart
    Is for you, eternity
    I never know love but only pleasure
    The beast is with me, caging me
    Savor me by his bestiality
    Forever damnation is for me”

    Listen to that scream
    Even it’s unseen
    From the deepest lair
    The melody of scare

    The night massacre
    In that she is free
    All her joy and tear
    Make me hurt and fear

    “My chamber has a shape of grave
    All yours shadow engraved this place
    Long before my poem was withered
    How far I was condemned as sinner?

    All the suffer she endured
    Also her joy and pleasure
    For nothing she could'nt fight
    Always it's her rapture night.

    The gloomy moon rised the end
    In blackened dawn she died in pain."

  8. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Ocean's Tale

    Would you spend a night with me in here?
    In this cradle of life,so much fear
    Heaven now so blue,without your smile
    Give me one more breath and make me alive
    I will hold your hands and cry out my pain
    Countless nights of rain,how insane
    Forever, I stand alone and my skin turned to stone
    A hollow soul was soaring in cold
    Slumbering within the shell of memory
    In deep dark Ocean I heard your lullaby
    How were we chanting under the same sky
    Hoped and dreamed so high
    In dream I remember it so well
    For long it's became the Ocean's tale.​
  9. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Death Wish

    The flower has fallen from the tree
    As time passed, seasons come toward me
    For last winter cascaded the breeze
    Silent and sadness in my heart seized

    “Raging red night of dellusion
    Transforming through all illusion
    A young butterfly escapes confusion
    From the cocoon of devotion

    In silence I seek my rebirth
    On this turmoil planet Earth
    To die I shall be the first
    Of pleasure that fulfil my thisrt”

    The tears are falling from her face
    Of unforgiven sin and disgrace
    Through this night are fury and blaze
    A shadow stand and weep at his grave"

  10. cruelshade

    cruelshade Garena VN

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    Ngày hôm qua
    That's nice :D
    To me, writing poems in English is very difficult :-s
  11. Okazaki Tomoya

    Okazaki Tomoya Mr & Ms Pac-Man

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Those are nice, even without rhythm, as long as you can feel the feelings of author.
  12. hanhito

    hanhito The Warrior of Light

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    well... that's kinda impossible to me...
  13. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Oh..i've been commenting :D, such a nice surprise ^^

    I'm still amateur,but al i want to do is express my heart, through the poem,with or without the rhyme

    And still, today no one like to write a little nice piece of poem in here (i can see that Mr.Hanhito have a nice one but just a little piece of the whole one,i'd love to see the full one)

    Now,i'd like to present a new one (w/o ryhme),named

    The Angel's Shadow

    Fire feast your body
    Was it hot, did you scream
    I cant be there,but soon
    My soul will join you

    Crying and mourning
    For mercy of angel
    Who ‘s taken your soul
    Who will never return it to you

    I wished I could feel
    The pleasure you’re feeling there

    How glad to know
    Your sorrow has been vanished
    Of all your life
    There was no happiness

    Don’t hate me
    I just want to be with you
    Don’t hide me
    All I want is to be with you

    Angel plucked my wings
    And ripped my heart
    But I can still live on
    Because I’m here with you​
  14. RATField

    RATField Fire in the hole! GVN Veteran

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    There's something I feel like saying.

    As I've read all your poem that posted, I found out that you're like a child, wandering around in pains, knowing no way to escape the reality in your world.

    For someone who's studied English for many years, also someone who's a writer and possess a past with full of sorrowness and lonliness; I can see through all those rythm and poet, a person that's being stuck in his own way of thinking. I, too, stucking in my life, with no happiness, no future. I think I am dead, sometimes. But maybe half of me is still alive, that's the part belong to the life. The life I am studying, rejected me. But I know, soon, the thing I am finding will reveal. It's not anything that exists in this world. Not a thing that matters. It's the ring of life. You can fly, sink, or just go with it. But there's no way you can stand in one spot with its flowing lines.

    Only some words and phrases from your poems can move others, since they're even higher than their levels of awareness about life. Yours is pro and super, but it's way to dark, for everyone to see your heart's true identity. You cannot go out of the ring, then you howl to break them, or fly in your imagination? Just that, know yourself first; witness yourself then use it. If you don't know a thing well, don't think of controlling it. You cannot see even a slightest thing if you don't want to see. Just that, if you don't want to fly, angel(yourself?) will rip you wings. That's all.

    There is no happiness in life. Unhappiness neither. Forgive yourself for that.

    Singing heart

    I am here, where I was
    Since the day Earth has stopped moving
    Like the universe has
    I am dead

    Dead to see everything
    To clear the lives
    As the lives cannot go out the life
    I find the truth

    As to my long waiting
    You are nowhere to reach
    You are everything to see
    You are living

    But one day I will fly
    To the heighs of darkness
    There's no light in its lake
    But nothing will matter

    If I don't clear up everything
    I still go on then die
    I will vanish like you did
    Though I truggle hard

    I know nothing to do
    But seeing you die first
    In my heart of hatred
    Sorrow of Sins

    Nothing else matters
    Nothing could matters
    If you don't exist
    You value all things

    If the name I call
    Destiny, was it
    Is not wrong enough
    I will hold you tie

    Just that, I wanna live
    With you till the end
    No end will matters
    For the struggle I got

    I live in the dakr
    I fly in the light
    I create everything
    So I can be God

    That's not matter
    You are not exist
    So am I
    I am dead

    Knowing nothing...
    And my heart's rotten
    With the light of heart
    The light of darkness

    Continue singing
    The heart of a fly
    Naturally with Earth
    Small like the dust...
    ...Free like the wind

    Nothing else matters​
  15. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    True, all my work just surround something without hope and light, for me, if you want to feel pleasure, a first thing i must know is pain.

    You need to die to feel alive.

    Dont worry for me, i appriciate your comment much, but all i want to know now is "will i know the true happiness with all the pain i had inside, do i have it enough to feel the true happiness that i always long for"

    And your poem :D, it's very nice, about hope and peace, through time of remorse and crying, you seem has found the "true happiness" after all....i glad for you.

    I'm still searching,maybe it will be forever,i will never know until the day i return to ashes...
  16. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Fantasy Tragedy

    A cold night of fantasy
    Asleep into my tragedy
    In our choking life story
    Embrace your last breath and me

    Poison bring us to paradise
    Torn apart but never die
    Storm and darkness are behind
    Finally we saw the light

    “Candles light and deadly venom
    The letter baptized in blood
    A smile on their face
    Is this what they were wishing for so long
    The eternity”

    Let they play the threnody
    We obsessed that melody
    Tears have fallen for memory
    “Farewell and be free”

    Hold my hand once again
    Under the moonlight we dance
    Forever our pain had ended
    Sing and dance until the end

    “In that night two were gone
    As it was written in this poem
    They were one soul in two body
    Their death didn’t mean tragedy
    For what they call it’s fantasy
    Forever it will remain in my memory”
  17. RATField

    RATField Fire in the hole! GVN Veteran

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    Well, all I want to let ya know is, if I don't make friends with ya, I'm a scum letting oppotunies passing by. You have your our way of creation and foundation. There's no similarities(if yep, that's just illusion that human beings created their own.) in eachs way, since there's endless lives and endless colors in this world. You have your own way.

    To tell the truth, I'm still seeking for it, but after a long struggle, I found out I can't stand in one spot(like I said), and also, whatever I do, obssessed with my pains or forget or forgive or take revenge, etc., I still don't have enough time to live, I will still perish one day. There's no change, so why do I have to be sad and be bad all the time? It solves nothing, also good boys solves nothing, but I prefer the good ones. That's what I want to become.

    Y'know, we all passed through many same stages to the level of acquiring "right knowledege about life". I don't care if anyone say that you are at the lower levels than mine, or vice versa. That's not matter. Knowledge, and judgement, then everying, are all ashes and dust, like the knowledge you've burnt to kill your pain, like the same deserted ways and places you are staying to rest your wounds. That's foolish, y'know.

    It's been so long since my last time writing out my own creation, like mangas or fic, music and poems. But I'm glad I wrote. For what I don't care, for who I don't mind. I only know, I wanna be strong. For what? If I am strong, then I can make others smile when I do things, and they will cry when I lie down and die. That's just the simplest thing in everyone's happiness. I found out that, when I found the supreme unhappiness. If I don't do that, if I have nothing to protect, I am no more than a worm. Crawling and do the facking stuffs. I don't want that. I wanna be...the one I don't know, at least can get the hell out of my way : I try to walk alone, and walking alone, but feel nothing since I've been used to loneliness and deserting...but I feel like I need more...then I try to understand the world, then I found out I am being out of it, the thing called "Life". I found out, half of my soul is DEAD.

    Just that, I don't wanna be a Zombie. I don't wanna be anything that's worthless of living. I just wanna love and be loved. Although the girl I've been loving for 5 years rejected me, and I haven't had any girlfriends. That's no matter. I have the right to live. My own ways. My own soul. Warm and worth.

    I am the Flying Fly. That's enough. To be happy.

    To get out of the Life is not easy. But when I was being half out of it, I want to return into it. And returning is not easy, too. But I will do it. For the dreams I see the girl I love. For the ultimate happiness and supreme unhappiness I feel whenever I see her in my dreams.

    To her, I am not any special person. And I won't going to try anything on her. But I will live my life. I won't abandon it like others did.

    That's not just love you see. That's not just relationships you have. You will see it yourself. Don't let yourself be blind.

    If human only see things they wanna see, they will have the ability to see the things they want to.

    Last Dream Of The Fly : The Final Confrontation at The City of Loss
    (Inspired from my fic The Source of Worlds : Events of Death)

    Last night I see you
    In the star ocean
    Above all the things
    And little flies somewhere

    Being a third person
    I see you walking
    Boyfriend if you catch
    Hand in hand happy

    There's no way out
    That the time has stop
    You are still the same
    At the park of life

    How much time have it
    Been just thousands years?
    Or just that I had
    Had a bad dream

    Once again you said
    There's no one playing
    But the song of gods
    Flows from nowhere

    Flying my own world
    My created damned thing
    Can't hold just the sad
    Little love I have

    I sighed, then look up
    There's the scenes of yours
    In nowhere's world
    Couple of Eternity

    Sighed again I cry
    Just one more dream
    And the time will stop
    I'll see you again

    I walked in darkness
    I walked in sorrow
    Nothing stoped me
    But only you, girl

    World have no meanings
    You have no ending
    Or my girl I said
    Destiny of mine

    There was just a fly
    That's dreaming so bad
    Flying out so fast
    Disobeying the Flies

    The line of the Death
    When I see you sad
    When I see you cry
    You doomed everyone

    The dreaming flies
    An old tale has got
    Said to be legend
    All dead in a town

    One night of nightmare
    Adventure to Death
    To meet you the last
    To know even more

    There's you the Boss
    Creating illusions
    We are all stupid
    Charmed by the light

    We were all ended up
    In the fire of life
    As you have summoned
    The End of all Desires

    Why only me left
    Why only I live
    To see just the truth
    The face of you, girl

    The last Boss I finish
    Was the dearest one
    Was the girl I love
    As a skeleton

    In the room of Death
    Darkness was all thing
    But I was crawling
    Holding tie your corpse

    In the end I asked
    Why I had to fight
    Why there's no stop
    Like I worth suffering

    Then I see the Source
    Badass of all things
    You there, you scum
    Made all us dying

    You don't even breath
    You said something true
    "Boy you are dead"
    I found out the sin

    I collapsed to the ground
    Can't just sense a thing
    Final time I ask
    What's this mean to be

    I had no stop
    I killed everyone
    To the end of this?
    What just I've received?

    Then I know the truth
    I am just a fly
    Dreaming in the dark
    Illusions of my own

    Get out all of this
    I howl in my mind
    Then I try fire up
    The last pieces of soul

    In the dark of dark
    There's a light behold
    There's a hope of last
    From a firefly's life

    "He's just a loss"
    "He's just a worm"
    The Boss said then smile
    While the flies take off

    Just a piece of cake
    Just a game of dust
    A life of a fly
    Which just burnt all off

    That's all he could do
    The best he have done
    The last fire on Earth
    No matter the night

    Darkness has no changes
    Light has not changed
    There's was no lies
    Or just silly truth

    That's all a life can
    A fire of spirit
    In the night of Death
    The end of all thing

    So the last dream ended
    He woke up stupidly
    He's the champion
    Of the Fifth Event

    No one knows of it
    The last light of a fly
    Firefly, he said
    Though he forgot all

    That's the way he did
    He continue the life
    Without knowing the truth
    Without even see the life

    Then he will join us
    The Flies of the Life...

    End...please sit back relax while waiting for the Sixth Events. Arigatou Gozaimasu.

    Well...It's from one of my fic. This fic was written based completely on my dreams, in which a dream can draw one stage or just half of it(there was 10 stages in that Event). I forgot all them...untill one dream, I was told that I joined the last event and I have to join the next event, too, since I am the champion of the last event, then I remembered all them. I even recalling them through many dreams now...heh heh...the ideas from my dreams was not affected from any things I've seen in this world, including manga, anime, film, poems, fic, music, games, etc. I was so surprising myself so I built a fic from it. Using it to write your own ideas is stealing my creation, y'know. Don't do so...heh heh.
  18. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    First of all, I do not deserve your praise,everything I do is begun from the same reason as you do,you creat your own universe to free yourself, through the creation of your fic, poem, imagination. In this sea of life, I dwell in the deepest place, I don’t have enough guts to face the “real” life, I never speak out the truth, I never help anyone before, , I’m the true scum one. I locked myself behind the door, this life is full of madness for me, which is the lie and which one is the truth, I never know, and I don’t want to know, and what I’m telling you, is the confession from the bottom of my heart.
    What I’m doing is the only to the salvation inside me, those words on my “poem”…for me it’s nothing but a mere of little light that shine in my heart, it can’t help me to become better, I’m not trying to polish myself, but releasing the dying breath inside me, I’m not worthy to think of,even tobe your friend.
    But so far, you’re the only one who see my poem as a signal, I think, we better know each other well before something happen and I regret that I cant and never know that there’s someone also walking the same path that I do, that also a great loss for me,as well.
    I don’t know how long will we see each other as friend, maybe after 1 weeks, I’m busy with studying, you busy with your life….and don’t even remember how we come to know each other. However, that’s worth to have a little fun with who like to make poem,so far … ^^

    This part give me most impression,currently the best,because there are: tear,fear,anger,sorow,love,tragedy...all in this phrase,it's moved my heart.

    If you like fiction, will you join me in the round fiction contest I’m gonna open ?
  19. RATField

    RATField Fire in the hole! GVN Veteran

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    I don't care for anything you have in your head or just the self-hiding of your is what what what what that I never understand. I will tell you what I mean. All in my heart and mind is not that easy and simple, but I know if I don't go for the details, you might still understand.

    There was a me that I know is similar to you. I crawled in pains, darkness and all; naturally just because of mistreat from others, naturally I turned to a person hates himself and all humanity, so much that he refuses himself to be human being, and only like Mother Nature(even until now I still call her like that). I transformed myself in my mind from rat, horse, whale, bufalo(it lacks one "f" in it. You will understand why) then cat.

    I divided myself to 9 persons with different names and things. I had to learn all things about the life myself so my progression was a little bad and slow. 5 years ago, had I forbidden myself to have bad emotions less and should not have extreme bad emotion like hatred, anger or sorrow; so that I won't walk on the wrong path to the evil. I was so foolish, huh? Then I tried to be a person that's not good not bad, not god nor human, nothing can affect.

    Last year, I found out how to love myself, and know who myself is and what I am doing. That's when all the persons in my mind become one, and I found out I was being out of the life, which I called *nhân sinh*. I spent more and more time analyze it, until I know that I don't receive things that it give to the ones being in it. Last month I found out how to forgive myself and all things...I evolved then tried coming back to the life.

    That's when I know the thing : If human want to, they will see. Also, at that time nothing would stop me anymore, for exactly, nothing would stop my mind. Nothing else matters, since everything has a meaning. That's the old thing I know when I was 17, but now it's started to have new meanings. "That's how it is". I know now, "nothing else matters".

    If the one who are in lower levels(in the Mastery of Consciousness) than me said so(I even said so when I was 15); then why didn't I see that even my life doesn't matter and even the Darkness I am being in and even all my pains? That's all I can say, when I think of a new tittle while listening to the song "This is why I'm hot".

    "I'm hot 'cause I fly, you hate 'cause you're not"

    Natural as a fly I did. I became the Flying Fly, the God of Flies b-(

    I talked too much. You may understand all without even my words.

    Well, to tell the truth, I have read many poems but never written any before. I've just written two, as posted above. My main products are on fics, mangas, and music. It's so thankful of you that you raised the inspiration of poems in me. It's been so long since my last time write/draw out any of my creation stored in my mind. I intended to keep them for myself...for ever. Since I don't have enough time to learn, why should I waste time create things? That's the stupid thought, but it's true.

    And right now, I don't care if I write another poem, but the frog in the dwell will finally come to the ocean(Please read HunterxHunter chap 383,; so do whatever you think is right for you.

    About the contest, I've participated many before and this week I've lost a contest(without even any prize) although I won 2 times first place. The conclusion is : my last fic was too complicated and pros that others couldn't understand! I would participate if I have time. Thanks for the invitation.

    I am now a human being again, thanks to many mangas and anime and games and music, also many pains, and people, in which there's you and also many of my friends. I am now normal, again, after a so-called long time of 8 years.

    Last words of this bullshit : I would be a firefly in the end of my life, even if the whole life of mine I've been just a dead fly in deep shit of the darkness or anything. Your life is not only the way you live it, but also the beautiful scenes you do right before you die. Because If you have nothing to protect, you are no more than a worm. What a man can be, he should be.

    Last battle of the Prototype X
    (Inspired from the fic The Source of Worlds : Prototype X)

    Here I am longing
    At the core of it
    The Core of the Death
    Legend of the Life

    It belongs to Gods
    But it is raging
    For the hand of dirt
    Embracing tie the Cane

    Why I sadly ask
    Once again you say
    "You've ask no more
    But the Tea of Death"

    "Your tea was always good
    Like the light of Life
    Unresistably you had
    The Tea from you heart"

    Once again I drink
    My best Tea of Heart
    It's delicious
    Like it've always been

    Why it's so sad
    You smile so bright
    Oh the Tea of Death
    Too, unresistably

    The energy of it
    You've drawn to it
    You've lost your heart
    My best friend of heart

    Now you're there so big
    The last enemy
    I will have to take
    God, why am I crying

    He's so strong to take
    Stomps on me so good
    Take on me so fast
    I lost completely

    In the shadow of day
    There was two brightest
    One light now have dead
    The Prototype of Sin

    Last glance of my eyes
    Met a thing I worship
    Here the girl I love
    The Prototype of All

    Caress me all het best
    Healed me by the light
    Tried all way to talk
    "Are you ok, dear"

    When I've been dead
    She came out of light
    No sin, and no place
    Can replace her arms

    That was...the last
    Scenes of her light
    One lance of the Death
    Thrusted through her heart

    Howling ripped my chest
    Stood up all I can
    I revived here now
    Just to see she falls

    My friend of childhood
    You've killed my hope
    You've killed my light
    You behold the Light

    Blood comes out of hands
    Holding tie the blade
    Shiver in the truth
    Till the root of heart

    There was nothing left
    In the end of day
    Even there was hope

    You deserve DYING
    The Tea of the Death
    I've drunk that too
    There's nothing left

    Smile again you ask
    "Are you just wanna die
    Or live free in a place
    Where you don't behold"

    Suddenly I stop
    The rage in my chest
    Look down then mix up
    The Tea of my heart

    You looked happy then said
    "Hey, I wanna one"
    Both of us were just
    Wanna to have a tea

    After that last tea
    All of them were dead
    All part of the Death
    Broken, vanish all off

    In the last instant
    There was a slightest
    Light of supreme clash
    Came from those two

    Peace then came again
    To the land of Dark
    There was not a dust
    In the wind of end

    That was just a tale
    Where evil and good
    All came to an end
    They were all perished

    Smile happy you ask
    "Why would you tell me?
    Such so sad stories
    Moved me to tears

    Make me wanna love
    You even much more?"
    Smile brightly I say
    "Why don't you just look
    That's the nicest dawn
    Since there's you
    On park-bench in Dark
    And I am watching
    Myself in the Light"​

    This poem needs a picture in which there's a couple, the boy's stand in the red-yellow sunlight of the end of the day, while the girl is sitting on the park-bench in the shadow. Both of them were shining so badly beautifully. Oh my, I should stop now, or my heart will get even higher inspiration.
  20. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    All words you've told me come from your heart?
    So it's not bullshit or piece of crap, you have been brave to let those thought come out. It's not wrong to feel a little different compare to the other , nothing disgraceful when you want to see your life in different way (By splitting your personality) , I like people like you, you put your thought into life and try to reflect where are you in there, it’s must have been a hard time for you before you decide to free yourself by flying high than the other, left everything behind and be with the joy of the world (which you call “Mother Nature”). I think…people like you and me, always want everything to be good and perfect, we are not easily satisfied with this life, asking ourselves many times the same question but no one answer. Feeling we were being deceived by the words of society, of other, i slowly become the thing that I've been disgusted, with awareness.
    Let my poem express what I’m feeling:

    Let me say it again...

    All you see in here
    Is my endless fear
    Lost in their lies
    Lost in my life

    Since when it began
    Had this frightened pain
    That thing to be me
    What I’ve diseased

    You gave me first love
    But that will be hurt
    For this withered heart
    You’re not the first

    This constant nightmare
    Only you to share
    You shall be the end
    Of my endless pain

    About your poem : i think it's a little bit long, it made me confused to see your meaning in each phrase,and the whole poem.Could you write it shorter but still fill enough what you want to tell ?
    Anyway,nice ^^

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